Haha, and now it’s down to this week. The week which I had just now checked to be the fifth week because I had forgotten, but besides being a forgetful person, I, as Jamia, know I’m still trying to figure out who I am. When it comes to change, I don’t fully understand the idea of it unless it’s dramatic, but the process of changing yourself is gradual. Unless I look back to the far past--when I was way more different--do I take notice. Recently, however, I realize the process of change takes acknowledgement, and for you maybe not as much thinking outside while viewing sundown as I do, but it takes some narrowing down, and work that is perhaps more than some prayers, and definitely more than just wishing things were different. Surprised at the many people who know the code “be proactive” as I do, but I’m unfortunately not as surprised to see the low number of people following up on it. Be a better you everyday, and as the speaker of this week, Lydia, has said--to be generally paraphrased by me, “Find your moxie”. When we’ve sat with this speaker, she had prompted us with something that we, as girls and as youth have all been through in relation to her app “Moxie” that was a goal setter app aimed at preteen girls specifically. Our prompt circled around the ideas we may have had about being a preteen, what we could’ve felt, been through, or advice we wanted to share in order to help the developers connect to preteen girls and constructive criticisms we’d like to have added. I said something though, that I hadn’t even realized myself until I had said it. It was about how lost I felt dealing with new things that came to me at this specific time of middle school, more than just the ‘red week of the month’ but of things that reached down into emotions and situations. I had said and implied that when it came to experiencing new things, I felt lost, no parents to turn to due to bad timing, no friend to turn to out of insecurity and uncertainty, and no internet because there were no answers for the questions I googled. It was my personal experiences, something I quickly figured out I’d just have to learn and understand. I had to figure out things myself, and one way was taking in what I experienced and narrowing down my answer every time I experienced it per say, coming to a conclusion of my own while always questioning if anything about what I felt and thought were natural because of my included inability to accept myself. I had not realized my own situation with myself and just lived with it until the point I spoke it to the speaker and the girls, and when I received applause and nods from everyone, I had not realized even up from that point that maybe someone could've felt the same.
But my past built the me now, and since I'm on the topic, when building the church website for our business partner, I have found that I like coding quite a bit. When I serf the web, at times features will catch my eye and I’ll wonder how to code that, and then that’ll catch me off-guard because “Who cares!” I figure this can be a hobby or maybe even a side job in the perhaps near future since I keep continuing to notice things and enjoying the image of me developing or designing something just the same. So kudos, as I’ll keep coding, learning more about myself, and seeing more good changes in myself.